By Mariyam Kamran | October 21, 2011
*Warning: Keep away from reach of narcissists.
How many times do we look in the mirror and sigh/whine/dream for flawless skin, perfect hair, and hour-glass figures? All that stares back at us (or so we think) is fat that we like to call love-handles, pimples we try to convince ourselves are normal signs of puberty and hair that never quite looks like the ad promised. Quick peek at what the Prophet (S) saw when HE looked in the mirror:
اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ حَسَّنْتَ خَلْقِي فَحَسِّنْ خُلُقِي
“O Allah, just as You have made my external features beautiful, make my character beautiful as well”.
Subhan Allah! Just imagine for a second, the self-assurance and contentment of a man who says this when he looks in the mirror (yes, the mirror!). And add to that the fact that the very next second he is praying for beauty within. Goes to show how little importance he placed on it. (I can almost see the accompanying shrug: “beautiful, so what?”) . He knew that beauty should not be skin-deep only, that handsome is as handsome does. And what has Disney taught us:
“Mirror Mirror on the wall! Who is the fairest of us all?” (and poison anyone fairer than you)
And lets not even start on the “Fair & Lovely” commercials and what they taught us. 🙂
So basically yes I know the media and society and the rishta-wali aunties have these unrealistic expectations (read demands) on what the ideal woman looks like (read tall, fair 19-year-old Doctor who wants to give up her career to raise your son AND his kids ). But its time we told ourselves (and a lot of other people too) that we are not putting up with this anymore! We are not dolls to be ogled at, at whim or ornaments for bike commercials. We have dreams, aspirations, careers and homes. But most of all, we have a higher purpose in life:
“Then did you think that We created you uselessly and that to Us you would not be returned?”
(Surah Al Muminun Verse 115)
“Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding – Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire.”
(Surah Al e Imran Verse 191)
Besides, we ought to be happy with the way we look and not let others decide what being beautiful entails. Why conform when you can be unique? Who decides these stats anyway? Allah made each one of us beautiful in our own special way and Allah said to me:
“… and (He) has given you shape, and made your shapes beautiful…”
(Surah Taghabun Verse 3)
Allah told me I am beautiful! Why would I need OR heed anyone telling me the same or otherwise after that? Better than that naked blue guy in the snow crooning (OR Tariq next door for that matter): “I saw your face…you`re beautiful it’s true”. I know they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but beauty is also in the mind. It’s a figment of our imagination. Trust me! If you believe you are beautiful, no power on earth can convince you otherwise. And if you feel ugly, NOBODY can convince you that you are not. So stop being over-critical of yourself when you look in the mirror and start working on the thought process instead:
“If our sense of self-worth comes from any place other than our relationship with Allah, Wallah we`re in deep trouble”
– Sh. Yassir Fazaga
Here`s a quick tip
Mental Exercise:
Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m not JUST a pretty face”. Now remind yourself of some personality flaw you know you have and need to work on and watch those pimples disappear
P.s Did you know that they say if Barbie were real she would be 7 feet tall and she would have to walk on all fours due to those “proportions” of hers
(Originally posted on http://malonama.com/)